So.... where does the rabbit come in anyway?

Want to have a good time?  Not in a "hey, baby" way.  More of in a "oh, God, I want to die now" kind of way.  Try to explain American holiday traditions to somebody that does not speak English.  Wait, make it more interesting than that.  Chose somebody that does not speak a language that includes Christian traditions.  We’re having fun now!

I have a student that has been out of China for 3 months now.  Their English is in the "herro, how are you, fine thanks" phase.  Yikes!  I had to use her translating computer to try to explain Easter today.  You know, those computers KICK ASS at doing simple shit.  You type in "very good", the computer says "phase hong how," you say it out loud, and the student gets all happy.  If you hit the re-translate button, the computer takes the "phase hong how" and turns it into… "very good."  No problem.

NOW

Try to type in the concept of the Christian savior being sacrificed for the salvation of mankind.  Hit the translate button.  Wait 14 minutes and eleven seconds.  Clear all the smoke out of the office.  Show the student the translation.  It will be about 11 pages long.  The student will look more and more confused as they read. 

NOW

Hit the re-translate button to try to figure out why the student is now huddling in the corner and rolling their eyes around like a scared horse.  It will take 17 minutes and 31 seconds this time.

You will find out that you are celebrating living forever by hanging people out to die of starvation and exposure.  AND you feast in front of them as they die.  AND every Christian family does this once a year.

The student will ask you several questions.

1.      Is this not illegal?

2.      If every Christian family does this, how do they find people to kill?

3.      Does the Chinese Government know America does this?

4.      Should the student stay inside the house this Sunday and not venture out?  They don’t want to see crucifixions.

5.      Where does the bunny fit in?

You know, of all the questions this poor translation caused, the last was the worst.

Where does the fucking bunny come from anyway?