You have got to be shitting me! People get free shit for talking about how cool shit is in a blog??? What kind of shit is that? How do I get in on this shit? The FTC is thinking about getting involved? Really? I don’t get the problem. According to the article listed above, “mommybloggers” are talking all kinds of good about products they are being given for free by advertisers. Again, what’s the fucking problem here? I’d sell out the integrity of my blog in an instant, the only problem is that nobody has made an offer.
Really. People are turning to bloggers for truth and honesty? Really? Hey! I’m a blogger. I have this little problem. I’m the heir to a vast (diamond, coal, emerald, fill-in-the-blank fortune), but my evil (step-brother, government, communist regime) has my fortune tied up. I can only count on the kindness of you, a total stranger, to save me. Send me your bank account number, and I’ll put 60 million bucks in your account. Magically, while I can’t get my cash out of the country, you can. I’ll send you a Swiss Bank Account number; you deposit 50 million bucks in my account and keep 10 million for yourself!
You know… about 6,000 fucktards a year give their bank account number to these assholes, and sit back and wait to get rich. I’ll bet you, while they are waiting for their 10 million bucks, they check in at mommydot.com to see what products are best to spend their new-found wealth on.
Ethics in blogging??? Is this something our government really needs to get involved in??? How about they fucking fix Social Security and let stupid motherfuckers get scammed. Last month, I saw a picture of a stripper who had “caveat emptor” tattooed right above her ass. This was the last 100% true thing I saw on the internet. Who the fuck are these whining cunts? “Oh… I can’t trust the word of a total stranger 100%! The government needs to step in! I need a dumb-ass bailout! Save me congress, because you are the epitome of truth!”
Attention Major Corporations and other assorted Rich Motherfuckers:
Send me free shit! I’ll talk it up like there’s no tomorrow. I’ll make your shit seem vital to sustained life on the fucking planet. Now, since I don’t get 16,452 suckers a day like these chicks seem to (maybe I’ll start up sneakymommy.com,) I don’t expect a Lexus or anything. Hell, send me a free Coke! I’ll promote your shit! In my time, I have promoted Dr. Sneaky’s Dirty Drawer Bomb, some ray gun that stuns obnoxious children, and my own book. Obviously, I’ll promote anything. Make me an offer. When I get more bored, I’ll prolly talk about the kick-ass robot mopping the spilled beer off my kitchen floor at this very moment.
Now that I think about it, I’m sort of offended that nobody ever offered me a bribe to blog for them before now. I’ll probably need 2 cokes before you get any work out of me.
Call me.
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