I have spoken to several people over the last couple of weeks about various things. I find that many of you are asking the same questions, just in different ways. Some of you are not asking questions, but should be, so I'm going to include you lot in this. You fuckers! Now you got me doing the "deep, meditative Sensei" thing. I hate that. I'd rather be the jolly drunkard Sensei. Now that you all got me spun up, though, take your medicine. Behold an ancient (well, I heard it a long time ago) Buddhist parable. Since not a single one of you is Buddhist, it seems very appropriate. This might teach you fuckers not to expect a semi-literate ex-kneecapper like myself to make with the "all the answers to life" shit.
Two monks were walking down the road, an old one and a young one. The old monk was a revered teacher in his order, and serving as his aid was a very honored position for the young monk. Now, these monks were members of a very strict sect that concerned itself solely with individual progress along the path to enlightenment. The order believed that women were a distraction from important things (amen-ahhh) and forbade acknowledging women in any way. Monks did not speak to women, touch them, or even admit they exist.
These two monks were traveling between towns, and it was a several day walk. Along the way, they had to cross a wide stream. The water was flowing very fast, but the stream was not deep, and they would have no problems crossing. As they got to the bank, there was a lady waiting at the stream. She was of the upper class, and dressed in the heavy flowing robes of the day. The water would catch her robes and drag her down the stream.
The old monk did not say a word. Without acknowledging the woman in any way, he picked her up, carried her across the stream, and set her down. He then continued his journey as though nothing had happened. The younger monk was beside himself! How had this happened? Here was one of the most revered members of his sect, a wise and respected teacher, and he had broken one of the strictest rules of the order. All day, the young monk started to ask his teacher why he had done that. Every time he gathered his nerve, he lost it again. Who was he to question the actions of such a learned man?
As the evening fell, and the young monk set up their camp site for the night, the older monk addressed him. "Son, you have been agitated and nervous all day. What ever can the problem be?"
"Master! I have been wanting to ask you… We are forbidden contact with women! Yet you picked that lady up! I can not reconcile this!"
"What? Her? Son, I set her down at the edge of the stream. It appears that you have been carrying her around all day!"
There. Get it? Shit happens in life. Rules and standards of conduct are not absolutes. Laws are written with the understanding that they be applied, not as absolutes, but with safeguards (judges and juries) that ensure they can be applied fairly when situations differ. Groups that will forgive an offence in one situation will eject an offending member for the same offence if the situation is different.
Also remember that the severity of any given situation is highly dependent on the perceptions of others around you. Your action or statement (carrying the lady) may not mean a thing to you, but the fucker on the next bar stool may be mortally offended by it, and follow you into the parking lot to discuss it with you an hour later when you leave the bar.
What else…. What else… Got to be a couple more of you fuckers that I can whack with this parable…
Ahhh…
Spend less time worrying about things that are only important to you. (I'm sure the parable actually included some shit about viewing the scenery and the old monk saw some cool nature shit while the young one saw only his own problems. I didn't hear it that way, but most parables of this type are all serious about viewing the scenery along the path…) If you spend your life looking for hidden meanings and delving for secrets that exist only to you, you will miss all the wonderful other things around you. Plus, you will annoy the piss out of the rest of us.
There. The lesson ends. Now do some pushups.
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