So, let me set this up for you. On the surface, it seems both stupid and a whole lot of effort for no tangible returns, but it is important that you understand my mindset when I created this idea.
I had just gotten out of the field where I spent 3 days:
Riding around in the back of hot ass hummers
Got nailed by the crud that I had been dodging for several days
Got at least a small bit of heat exhaustion, twice
Gotten seriously ass-raped for fucking up a SAW range
Gotten a total of 6 hours of sleep for the two nights
Been advised that I was getting transferred out of my Armory, where I have been for the last 3 years and moved to another Company.
Spent the preceding 8 hours riding the width of the state in the back of a hummer
So you see, I wan not in the best emotional or physical state when this idea was shat forth from my imagination.
I decided that I could alleviate some of my discomfort by indulging in my favorite hobby. Mindfucking people. I started playing with one of my squad leaders, who is a Western cop. Soon, we had several people adding to the joke, and it turned out pretty good. The basic premise is this: I would film a short video for youtube extolling the virtues of a new kind of high. A perfectly legal drug you could make yourself (with a little help) and it would get you wrecked. We could sit back and laugh at the downloads, knowing that somewhere, a little stoner was probably dumb enough to try this.
Here we go:
Smoking Pussy
It's got to have a "street name." The name should be at least vaguely sexual. This is mandatory. The youtube video would have to carefully, step by step, explain, in little pot-head-proof details how to make this drug. We would name a few over the counter, benign items. We would make people go to ridiculously precise measurements (if the "drug" did not work, we could blame the pot-head-in-question, PHIQ, for fucking up the measurements.) They would then mix the stuff with a quarter cup of milk and feed the milk to a cat. Once the cat pissed out the mixture, they could collect the used litter and smoke it in their bongs for an unbelievable high.
1. We use benign ingredients and stress the exact ratios of ingredients to ensure that kitty wuggums does not get an upset tummy.
2. We use some exciting, realistic sounding science to convince people that doing this will convert cat piss to a hallucinogenic. Hey, the Government has been selling people unrealistic science for generations. The propaganda works, the science never does.
3. We convince stupid people to smoke cat piss. How funny would that be?
Anybody want to play?
We need to decide what ingredients to use, what ratio, and what kitty litter. Remember, the goal is to make it a huge pain in the ass to get right. We might be able to gat a few stupid people to try it several times! We need to chose shit that won't kack the cat. Who needs that karma? We need to invent some junk science reason for this to work. We need to film a video showing how "easy" this is, and how happy some stoners are. We need to post the video, wait a while, and enter some "testimonials" about how people have been doing this for months, and it's "da bomb."
A lot of work, but I just love the idea of some teenage boys stalking the family cat, bong in hand, waiting for 4:20.
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