Fuck a stupid "gas off" day.

Yet again, I am amazed at the gullibility of people.  
Will this stupid internet lie never die?  
I guess the same factor that keeps internet n00bs falling for lotto scams 
and "stock tips" causes otherwise reasonable people to support such stupidity
as the "Gas out on May 15th".  If you have not gotten 2 or 3 of these emails 
from well meaning buffoons yet, you will as the 15th approaches, and they 
"discover" this awesome chance to "stick it to big oil!"
 
Shall we take a closer look at this little gem? (Yes, for those of you that 
would fall for this stupidity, let me give you a clue.  My comments are in red, the bullshit from the 
email is blue.)
MARK YOUR CALENDERS AND DON'T PUMP YOUR GAS ON MAY 15TH 2007
(Nothing really wrong with the above, except do we really need the ALL CAPS?)
Don't pump gas on May 15th! (for it is a magical day, denounced by the gods…)
In April 1997, there was a "gas out" conducted nationwide in protest
of gas prices.  Gasoline prices dropped 30 cents a gallon overnight.
HORSESHIT!  Show me proof of this miracle.  Anyone who knows how gas stations 
work can spot this stinker in a second.  Gas stations buy gas on a regular schedule.  
They can get emergency deliveries, but these upset the route drivers, and are bad 
for business.  If you get your gas on Tuesdays, you get enough gas for a week to 
ten days (the places I worked growing up all had weekly deliveries.)  You buy basically 
the same amount of gas every week, give or take 10%.  That's EVERY WEEK, NOT EVERY DAY.  
If you boycott my gas station on the 15th, I won't really notice.  Hell, that's Tuesday, 
my delivery day, and I will be glad!  I won't have to keep 60 jackasses from ramming the 
delivery truck trying to get to the pumps.  Guess what?  You will buy gas from me on 
the 16th, the 17th, or the 18th, OR YOUR DUMB HIPPIE ASS WILL BE WALKING TO WORK!  
On the 22nd, when the truck comes again, I will need the exact same amount of gas I needed 
the 15th, give or take 10%.
 
So, with that in mind, let's look at this "miracle" of gas dropping 30 cents a gallon 
overnight in response to the 15th in 1997.  Hmm…  So gas station owners somehow magically 
noticed a drop in their sales a week before they buy gas.  They made panicked calls to 
Corporate (even though a VAST number of gas stations in this country are independent 
and don't HAVE a corporate to call.  Corporate, in a fit of panic during the 2 working 
hours left of the day had an emergency meeting and agreed to lower gas prices throughout 
the entire country instantly.
Why are people still spreading this stupidity?
On May 15th 2007, all AMERICANS are to not go to a gas station in
protest of high gas prices. Gas is now over $3.00 a gallon in most
places.  (or what?  The Conformity Police will let the air out of my tires?)
If all Americans did not go to the pump on the 15th, it would take
$2,200,000,000.00 (that's BILLION) out of the oil companies pockets
for just one day,  WOAH!  Easy there killer!  Last time I checked, 
there were only 300,000,000 people in the United States…  The 
Federal Highway Administration only had 190,000,000 licensed drivers 
recorded at that time.  Less than half of them drive every day 
(hint, most New York City denizens have licenses, but do not own cars)  
So…  lets say 100,000,000 people drove their cars on the 15th of May…  
Will EVERY person in America buy 22 bucks worth of gas EVERY DAY?  
Oh, wait…  That's 2.2 bil for the OIL COMPANIES…  3 bucks…  Take away 
say 75 cents a gallon for state and fed taxes…  2.25.  Take away a markup 
at the gas station, transportation costs, refining, piping, crude oil prices…  
If we wanted to take away 2.2 billion, from the OIL COMPANY, the actual 
amount that every licensed driver would be over 50 bucks.  Every day. 
 
Boys and girls, this is yet another HORSESHIT amount, chosen at random by 
the makers of this little gem to try to convince you to join yet another 
meaningless protest for their little cost.  Line up Sheeple…  ewes on the 
right, rams on the left…
so please do not go to the gas station on May 15th
and lets try to put a dent in the Middle Eastern oil industry for at
least one day.  If you agree (which I cant see why you wouldn't,
don't you want cheap gas?) Email to all of your contacts!!  Huh.  
First, it's BIG OIL we are out to fuck, now it's the Middle East.  
Aren't we the Kissingers of the gas pumps?  Remember what I said about 
how a single gas station would sell the same number of gallons a week?  
These dudes sell ENTIRE TANKER LOADS.  Every month.  Your little 14 
gallons are less than the spillage they mop off the deck after the transfer.  
Go ahead… shake your fist at the U.A.E.  Let me know how that works out for you…
Why are we, as a nation so addicted to quick fixes and symbolic but STUPID 
gestures?  We'll wave a sign or go to a protest on Wednesday, and then go 
right back to our normal behavior on Thursday.  We'll try every fad diet 
that Oprah pushes on us, and still over-indulge and under-exercise (exercise 
is toooooooo harrrddddd…)and wonder why we can't keep weight off.  We'll 
whine and cry about how bad one president is, and then go ahead and replace 
him with another one that is just as slimy and immoral.
You want to get real about gas prices?  (No, I already know you don't, the 
solution would require WORK, and Americans want no part of that…) Start 
making your own bio-diesel. Get a diesel car or truck and make your own 
fucking gas.  You can make bio-diesel fro about 50 cents a gallon.  
The reactor costs about 100 bucks to make (about 40 if you are smart enough 
to get a water heater at the junk yard)  All you need is a buddy that works 
at a fast food joint and can get the manager to hook you up with the used fryer oil. 
 
Plans for bio-diesel reactors are available for free on line.  Complete 
detailed instructions are available free on line.  You want to make a real 
difference?  
 
1.  GET OFF YOUR LAZY ASS AND FORGET STUPID "GAS OFF" BULLSHIT.  
2.  Get 10 friends (yours or somebody else's) and form a bio-diesel cooperative.  
3.  Buy a beater diesel car or truck.  Pretty doesn't matter, the fuel source matters.  
    Hell, go buy a shiny new Audi diesel sports car.  It will pay for itself in fuel costs in 3 years.  
4.  Start making your own gas and never buy gas again except in true emergencies.  
5.  Make sure the other 9 people of your group do the same.
There you go.  10 people who will never support the oil industry again.  Cheaper, 
cleaner fuel.  You know why you won't do it?  It would be WORK.  
Bahhhh…..   bahhhhh…   evil oil companies….   Bahhh…   Bahhhh…  We must protest on the 15th!
The next sheep that sends me a "gas off" email is getting punched in the fucking gall bladder.  
 
Have a nice day.