I freaking love
helicopters.
I just do. What the
hell is not to love? Hopping in one and
then cruising around, checking shit out.
The Blackhawk is just fun to ride.
I do miss the Hueys. The most fun
jump I ever had was out of a huey.
Freaking egg beater, sure at any second the engine was going to freeze
up and dump you a couple of thousand feet to the ground. Good times.
The color schemes on the MFO helicopters in not exactly standard for the army. However, since orange helicopters are de
rigor for the Coast Guard, I did not really think anything about it. We have a comedy team pass through and one of
the guys started busting on the choppers.
“You take one of the most bad-ass, intimidating choppers in
the world, and then paint it up in clown colors! What the fuck is up with that? I get in a Blackhawk, I want to hear ‘ride of
the Valkyries’, not fucking merry-go-round
music. Kept expecting 25 people to jump
out of the damn thing.”
Oh, yeah, one more thing.
The comedians were not very good, but the name act was pretty good. The guy that made the helicopter jokes had
something about him though… Everybody
kept looking at him, looking at each other, listening to him, looking to each
other. About the time people stopped
responding to him, he said “you guys are going nuts, right? ‘Where the fuck do we know him from? How about this? ‘I’m loading, cover me!’” The place went batshit. The guy does voices for most of the more
popular first person shooter games. He
started calling out a bunch of lines from games I don’t know, but the crowd
loved it. Whatever those popular first
person shooter games are that all the college kids play, I met a voice actor
for most of them. He was not that funny
in person.
These are our neighbors. See how nice the place is?
This is us. Not so much, right? They are not real fond of us. We are lowering their property values with the tornado magnets, the firing range, and constant chance of terrorists cutting through their backyard to set up mortars. You have to see their point, right?
Anyway, I went out to an observation point we have out on an
island at the entry point of the Gulf of Aquabah. This is quite a large island at the mouth of
where the Red Sea cuts up between the Sahara and Saudi Arabia. The only way to
safely get out to the OP is by air. The
island has been mined by both Egypt, Israel, and Saudi Arabia since there have
been land mines. The beaches are the
most heavily mined in the world. Good
times. Everything has to be flown
in. A bunch of the kids were griping
about what a shit hole the place was, but I just did not see that. I saw some pretty cool engineering. First off, any of these kids that have
deployed before are used to the big FOBs that are in Afghanistan or Iraq. What they forget is that these things were
built by contractors using all new and modern equipment. The contractors got to charge more for every
bell, button, or whistle, so they heaped the shiney on. This site was built in the late 70s, with the
technology of the day, stuck up on the side of a wind blasted hill, no heavy
equipment to level the place, all work done with hand tools. It’s pretty fucking impressive. Not to mention it was built for less money
than the Boy Scouts spend on a summer camp out post. The MFO has no budget. They don’t get funding from the US, or the
United Nations. They get donations from
people interested in peace in the middle east.
Seriously. That’s how we pay for
shit. The next time you are at a
restaurant check out and see one of those donation boxes to help world peace,
give generously, were almost out of toner.
Love the cool-ass 70's technology
Anyway,
here are a couple of cool photos I took while out on the island. See that boat? I asked the guy at the outpost about that
boat, what the hell is there for him to be doing out here. He said that the guy was probably
diving. If they heard any explosions, or
the boat was there in another day or two, they would figure the guy came up on
the beach to cook out, and call the Egyptian navy to come find the body and tow
the boat away. I don’t think the guy was
kidding with me
Let’s see… This is just a cool picture. I have no problem imagining a camel caravan traveling through here with a load of Asian spices.
There are a bunch of dudes that come out here and spend a
long time watching shit. They get bored
pretty easily. The cardinal rule of
military discipline is that if you let a Soldier get bored, he is going to
entertain himself. That never ends
well. From time immemorial, the solution
to this is make-work. Keep a Joe busy,
you keep him out of trouble. Rocks get
painted, whether they need it or not, sandbags get filled, whether you need
sandbags or not, and some pretty cool desert art happens. Here is an example of said desert art.
This took more than a couple of hours to do...
What else have we got here? Here is my shack as viewed from the air, about a hundred feet above the Gulf of Aquabah...
Here is the island as seen from my back proch, Cat's primary lair. It's pretty hazy. Usually you can see it better, but I'm too lazy to go re-shoot it.
Last, but not least, I loved the sling load operations. Everything has to be flown into the island,
and then the empties have to be flown out. The first picture is the chopper
bringing in 4 5o gallon water bladders.
The chopper drops them on the water pad, then guys jump up and monkey
wrestle the bladders around and attach hoses to them and drain the water down
into their storage tank, where it gets pumped up to where it needs to go. Other sling loads bring in diesel, food, etc… The guys on the ground have to police up all
the containers, and load them back into a sling for the chopper to take away.
This was a pretty cool little adventure, and I had a good time. I am going to try to get out to some of the other remote sites, but unfortunately, I won't be able to fly.
I think that I would happily deploy to a remote location to
watch a slug not crawl across a fixed distance, if only I could ride a chopper
to get there. I think in my next life, I
am going to be a door gunner. Choppers
and machine guns. Life would be good.
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